Mortal Kombat Facebook!
by JamesSaysHi
Summary: <html><head></head>Seems like the Mortal Kombat crew has even joined the Facebook craze! *NEW 8/7/14*</html>
1. Chapter 1: Trouble!

_AN: Okay, this is the first chapter of Mortal Kombat Facebook! This is basically an intro, and I promise it will get funnier as it continues. Some mild spoilers to Mortal Kombat 9! Reviews would really be appreaciated, as it would help me know what direction I should take the story in. Alright! Enjoy!_

**Mortal Kombat:**

**Facebook Fun**

**Sonya Blade: **_**Ugh, saving the world from Shao Kahn with Johnny and Raiden, brb.**_

**Raiden, and 2 other people like this.**

**Comments:**

**Sheeva: **_**Fool! Shao Kahn is the ruler! You cannot defeat him! Lol.**_

**Sonya: **_**Bitch plz. Go back to the zoo.**_

**Raiden: **_**Sonya, watch your language dear, your mother can read this!**_

**Shao Kahn: **_**Dick, that wasn't a fair fight!**_

**Raiden: **_**OMG, explain to me how that wasn't a fair fight! Wtf did you do? You backed away and threw hammers repeadiatly. **_

**Shao Kahn: **_**K, LOL.**_

** Sonya: **_**You just got dissed, son.**_

** Raiden uploaded 10 photos to the album: **_**Chilln in Outworld.**_

** Jax Briggs: **_**Fuck Sindel's nappy headed ass! **_

**Sonya Blade, and 20 other people like this.**

**Comments:**

** Sindel: **_**Haha, honey, at least I have hair.**_

** 1 person likes this comment.**

** Jax: **_**Lol, whatever. But, omg, you just busted into our hideout and killed us like it was nothing. You tryna diss us, strate.**_

**Mileena: **_**Stfu, quit being so butt-hurt. **_

** Jax: **_**Whateva.**_

** Mileena: **_**Yeahh, you're jealous becuz I'm fine as hell, and you can't have this.**_

** Jax: **_**Right, lol. Cuz you have..."standards".**_

** Mileena: **_**That's right, I have high standards too, btch.**_

** Jax: **_**Plz, what standards are you allowed to have? Have you seen your mouth lately?**_

** Mileena: **_**:O, low blow.**_

**Jax: **_**yup, you need dental work. End of discussion. **_

** Jade has changed her interests from: Men, to women.**

** Johnny Cage **_**is in a relationship with **_**Sonya Blade. 3**

**16 People Like This.**

** comments:**

** Jade: Awww, so sweet xx.**

** Jax: **_**Fuk u.**_

** Johnny: **_**Jealous?**_

**Jax: **_**Gay?**_

**Johnny: **_**What?**_

**Jax: **_**You just told me you were gay yesterday!**_

**Johnny: **_**No I didn't, wtf?**_

**Jax: **_**Lol, whatever helps you sleep at night!**_

**Sonya: **_**Wtf, Johnny?**_

**Johnny: **_**Sonya, no! **_

**Johnny Cage **_**is single.**_


	2. Chapter 2: Experimentation!

AN: So, I'd like to thank everyone for the nice reviews and messages you've been sending me! Also, I'd like to thank everyone that added this story to their watchlist/favorites. It really makes me feel great about continuing this story :D. Also, this chapter is a bit short, but, it will get a bit longer as the story goes on. Alright, here's chapter 2! Let me know what you think. Btw, minor spoilers to previous Mortal Kombat games.

**Sheeva: **_**Sooo tired of being Sindel's body gaurd! Like, wtf? She killed off how many of Raiden's little shits? ugh, she's been a total bitch ever since she got owned by Nightwolf. Text me.**_

**Reptile and Baraka like this.**

**Comments:**

**Sonya: **_**Lol, sucks for you!**_

**Shao Kahn: **_**Sheeva! Wtf! How dare you talk about my wife that way! I should stab you in the back with a sword...oh wait.**_

**Sheeva: **_**Yeah, and I think someone should fucking own your ass after you betrayed the Elder gods...oh wait.**_

**Kitana: **_**Ugh, that's mom for ya.**_

**Mileena: **_**You ungrateful bitch, you will choke on my hot, thick cum cuz I'm such a slut. I'm bisexual u no.**_

**Shao Kahn: **_**Mileena, do not talk that way! This is just a phase, it will pass.**_

**Mileena: **_**NOOOO, you don't know my life!**_

**Sheeva: **_**Lol, quit spamming my notifications. **_

**Shao Kahn: **_**Silence freak!**_

**Sindel: **_**Sheeva, I do not like this status! And Shao, honey, it's your fault she's acting this way, I mean, you're always wearing nothing except that silly cloth.**_

**Shao Kahn: **_**OMG, you wear less than I do! Plus, you fuckin' luv my cloth. **_

**Sindel: **_**It's true (;**_

**Kitana: **_**Tmi, dad, tmi.**_

**Mileena has posted on your wall, Shao Kahn:**

_**Hey Daddy! I just want to let you know that I am having hot, monkey sex with Sareena as we speak, kk? Accept me 4 hoo I am u no! This is not just experimentation, it's love!1one!11**_

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><p><strong>Shao Kahn: <strong>_**Why didn't my wife just abort those little shits when she had the chance? Being a dad sux. Inbox me?**_

** Jax Briggs likes this.**

**Comments:**

**Jax: **_**lol, man.**_

**Kitana: **_**If you weren't such an absent father, maybe we wouldn't have turned out like this! All you care about are those lame ass fucking tournaments! They are so pointless, and plus, that Shang Tsung freak always looks at my breasts.**_

**Kano: **_**Maybe he wouldn't look at ya tits if you wouldn't flash'em around like a hoe, aye?**_

**Sonya: **_**Kano, you're supposed to be Australian, not Canadian. Alliteration fail! **_

**Kano: **_**...**_

**Kitana: **_**Put on your big boy pants, Kano. KK?**_

**Sindel: **_**Wow, I'd hate to hear your thoughts on this marriage, freak.**_

**Shao Kahn: **_**Eh, I have no complaints. Well, except your hair...**_

**Jade: **_**Yeah, that shits def. weave.**_

* * *

><p><strong>Shao Kahn went from <strong>_**'Married' **_**to **_**'Single'**_**.**

* * *

><p><strong>Reptile: <strong>_**Thinks Chameleon is just a cheap knock-off of me. Like if you agree.**_

** 50 people like this.**

**Comments:**

**Chameleon: **_**and also stronger.**_

**Reptile: **_**and also delusional.**_

**Ed Boon: **_**Suck my dick.**_

**Reptile: - **_**.-**_


	3. Chapter 3: Party!

AN: Hey guys, I'm here again with another daily update of _Mortal Kombat Facebook! _the reason I've been updating daily is because my Spring Break is almost over, and I have to return to school. Chapter 4 will most likely be up tomorrow, but chapter 5 will be up Friday, or Saturday. Also, _Secret Identity _requested that John Tobias make an appearance in here, so, he does! Alright, enjoy the chapter! (Reviews much appreaciated!)

**April 26:**

**Kai: **_**L!k3 !f Y00h ghoin'; tew*Mileena's pxrtyy!**_

** 76 People Like This.**

**Comments:**

**Sindel: **_**Yes, I am attending...homie?**_

**Kai: **_**y00hxx; d!$$in', la'mamma?**_

**Shao Kahn: **_**Going! And don't talk to my wife like that, I will have your head!**_

**Sindel: _EX-wife!_**

**Sheeva: **_**Is he even a character?**_

**Jax: **_**Yes, and he took my title as token black guy -.-**_

* * *

><p><strong>Sareena: <strong>_**Going to Mileena's partayyyyy! Since all us females will be almost completely naked, while the males are fully clothed, what should I wear: Body tape or nipple tassles? **_

**4 People Like This.**

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><p><strong>Sonya Blade: <strong>_**Going to check out this party, just to make sure everyone's safe, not because I want to...cough!**_

**Comments:**

**Mileena: **_**Liar!**_

**Johnny: **_**Yeah, she's lying.**_

**Sonya: **_**Okay, you caught me. Shut up! *insert random statement to flaunt my woman power here***_

**Taven: **_**Busted!**_

**Sonya: **_**Excuse me, do not comment on my status like you're relevant! **_

* * *

><p><strong>Mileena: <strong>_**Yayy! The party is starting, everyone's here! Can Takartan's get drunk? Hmm...**_

**Comments:**

**Baraka: **_**No, but you're not full Takartan, so you can.**_

**Mileena: **_**Ew, go away.**_

**Baraka: **_**But baby, you. make me. feel like I'm livin' a tee-nage-dream, the way you turn me on.**_

**Shao Kahn: **_**I'll be watching you...like a hawk! **_

* * *

><p><strong>April 27.<strong>

**Sub Zero: **_**I do NOT want to talk about last night.**_

** 150 People Like This**

**Comments:**

**Reptile: **_**XD**_

**Rain: **_**BAHA! You know it's gonna be talked about sooner or later.**_

**Sub Zero: **_**I prefer later.**_

**Goro: **_**What happened? After I did that keg stand, I was knocked out...growl! growl!**_

**Sonya: **_**Sub Zero and Smoke totally...nvm.**_

**Jax: **_**Haha, way to spill the beans Sonya.**_

**Sonya: **_**Oh, whatever. Nothing is spilled, I just implied heavily that they are going to spill.**_

**Goro: **_**OMGSTFU, are you serious?**_

**Scorpion: **_**Aww yeah! **_**(;**

**Smoke: **_**All I'm going to say is, he now has more smoke in his lungs than a 50-year-old chain smoker (;**_

**Sub-Zero: **_**Oh...my...god!**_

* * *

><p><strong>Jax: <strong>_**Cracking my skull was NOT on my agenda for last night...**_

**Comments:**

**Sonya: **_**Hahahahahahahahha! FATALITY!**_

* * *

><p><strong>Kitana: <strong>_**Just woke up at Mileena's dungeon...naked. Sad thing about it? Well, the fact that I'm STILL naked...fml.**_

** Mileena Likes This**

**Comments:**

**Scorpion: **_**YEAHHBOI! GET OVER HERE!**_

**Kitana: **_**Right, like I'd jump YOUR bones.**_

**Mileena: **_**Well, he'd certainly spark up your sex life.**_

**Kitana: **_**LOL OBVIOUS JOKE IS OBVIOUS LOL**_

**John Tobias: **_**Why wasn't I invited last night?**_

**Mileena: **_**Lol, just...lol.**_

**Jade: **_**Because no one knows you, kk? lol.**_

**John Tobias: **_**Hello, co-creator of Mortal Kombat, AKA, the reason you exist.**_

**Kitana: **_**Tbh, the only one anyone cares about is Ed, sorry man/:**_

**Ed Boon: **_**Awkwardddddd!**_


	4. Chapter 4: Magic!

AN: Alright, yes, this chapter may be a little odd. But, this chapter will be leading to something totally different than what has been happening thus far! Also, it was requested that Lucifer make an appearance in this story, and he will, just not in this chapter! Speaking of requests, if you'd like to see something, or someone in particular in the story, let me know in your review or a message! Alright, as always, enjoy!

**Baraka: **_**Watching my favorite scary movie!(:**_

**Comments:**

**Sindel: **_**And that movie is...**_

**Baraka: **_**Material Girls.**_

* * *

><p><strong>Shang Tsung: <strong>_**Hanging by the pool, gonna conjure up the souls of some slaves so they can make me drinks. Anyone wanna come?**_

** 2 People Like This**

**Comments:**

**Sareena: **_**Ehhh, only if you use your powers to turn into Vin Diesal...**_

**Shang Tsung: **_**I'm not good enough for anyone ): /fishingforcompliments**_

**Kitana: **_**Aww, Jade and I can hang with you. I mean, all we were going to do today was watch 'Wild Things' in slow motion so we can see Kevin Bacon's penis...**_

* * *

><p><strong>Kano: <strong>_**After tonight, I think I'm seriously just going to become a tax collector. **_

** Reptile, and 4 other people like this**

**Comments:**

**Sonya: **_**Aww, you're that embarrased that I beat your ass?  
><strong>_**Jax: **_**Woah, good job Sonya! You beat him up? **_

**Kano: **_**yeah, up the ass.**_

**Jax: **_**Wait, what?**_

**Kano: **_**The bitch punched me to the ground, turned me over and beat my asshole with her red and green strap-on.**_

**Ed Boon: **_**Whoopsie!**_

* * *

><p><strong>Stryker: <strong>_**Is legit jamming to the Beastie Boys.**_

**Comments:**

**Kabal: **_**Make Some Noise, ftw.**_

**Stryker: **_**Come the the concert with me!**_

**Kabal: **_**You mean, go to a concert with a bunch of morbidly obese 50 year olds stuck in the 90's drooling everywhere, and flashing their junk? Damn...it's like you know me.**_

**Mileena: **_**I'm bisexual, uNo!**_

**Kabal: **_**We know this, Mileena.**_

**Mileena: **_**yeah, I like boys and girls.**_

**Stryker: **_**Thanks for clarifying?**_

**Mileena: **_**you have a problem with it? are you saying you don't accept me 4 hoo i amm?**_

**Stryker: **_**Now where the hell did you get that from?**_

**Sindel: **_**You'll have to excuse my daughter, this little slut has been doing this to everyone. Like last night, I told her I was baking Dead Baby Cookies and she replied with: "Oh, because I'm bisexual? Gee, thanks for hating me!" followed by an unsettling growl.**_

**Stryker: **_**My condolences...**_

* * *

><p><strong>K<strong>**abal: **_**Dude, what is with everyone and this sudden wave of homosexuality? I mean, Smoke went from Bruce Lee to Richard Simmons in over a night. WTF?**_

**Comments:**

**Smoke: **_**Problem?**_

**Kabal: **_**No, no. It's just, how is everyone gay all of a sudden?  
><strong>_**Jax: **_**IKR! I think there's something up.**_

**Smoke: **_**WAHHH, Y U NO ACCEPT ME?**_

**Sonya: **_**We accept you, Smoke, we just think it's weird how this is going on all of a sudden everyone is exploring their inner Jason Hawke.**_

* * *

><p><strong>Group chat: Kabal, Jax, Sonya, and Stryker.<strong>

**May 1st, 2011. **

**Kabal: **_**Guys, I think it's a spell!**_

**Sonya: **_**What?**_

**Jax: **_**?**_

**Stryker: **_**?**_

**Kabal: **_**I think the reason Mortal Kombat has turned into Gayfest 2011 is because of a spell.**_

**Sonya: **_**A spell? By who?**_

**Jax: **_**Who do you think?**_

**Sonya: **_**Alright...but of all spells, why use one to turn everyone gay?**_

**Stryker: **_**I get it! The ones the spell is affecting are serving as a distraction for the rest of us, so he can do whatever the hell it is he is needing to do,**_

**Jax: **_**Oooookaayyyyyy, but why them? Why did he choose the one's he chose?**_

**Sonya: **_**...because, they were the ones everyone would least expect to be gay.**_

**Jax: **_**Except Mileena, no surprise there...**_

**Kabal: **_**Good thinking guys! Well, obviously Quan Chi isn't working alone, who do you think might be aiding him?**_

**Sonya: **_**I'm guessing Shang Tsung and Shinnok...!**_

**Kabal: **_**We can stop this! We just need to make a plan. Who's in?**_

**Jax: **_**I.**_

**Sonya: **_**Count me in.**_

**Stryker: **_**Of course! **_

**Kabal: **_**Alright, tomorrow, this time. Get online. We'll finish this...**_

**Chat session ended.**

AN2: As I said in the beginning, I know this chapter is a bit odd. The next part is going to add something new to this series, and may only happen once (depending on if you guys like it). Wondering what I'm talking about? Too bad, you're going to have to find out next week (Saturday, May 7). Also, please review and let me know how I'm doing! I would just love it! (:


	5. The Group, Part I!

AN1: Okay, this part, and the next part are the journey Kabal, Sonya, Stryker, and Jax (or, 'The Group') go on to break the spell that Shang Tsung and Quan Chi cast on the warriors to suddenly make them gay. If you must, you can skip this part, and The Group pt. 2 (coming Saturday) because this won't have _that much_ to do with the future chapters. Though, if you want to know what happens after chapter 4, and the journey they go on, then this special chapter is for you! As always, please let me know what you think! (btw, this switches back and forth from Facebook, to The Group's POV)

Also, for the** requests: **I put a few things people requested (see if you can recognize yours) in this part, and will put more of your requests in the next part, or in future chapters. (: ENJOY!

**Sonya Blade: **_**GOING ON A MISSION TO SAVE YOU ALL BRB**_

** 4 People Like This**

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><p><strong>Jax Briggs: <strong>_**Text me, I'm going to save the warriors from unspeakable dangers!(: wassup?**_

** 5 People Like This**

* * *

><p><strong>Mileena: <strong>_**I'm bisexual.**_

** Sareena Likes This**

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><p>"Oh, I've just got butterflies." Stryker says, equipting guns in his holsters.<p>

Kabal looks back at Stryker, a smile on his face, though, you couldn't see it.

"Look, I'm ready to go! The plan is as simple as can be, and I think we're all prepared." Sonya says impatiently, taking jabs at the air.

Kabal nods in agreement, "We can go." he says, grabbing his weapons.

* * *

><p><strong>Shang Tsung's Messages [1]:<strong>

** Scorpion: **_**Kabal and his bitches know about the spell. They're on their way here. **_

**Shang Tsung: **_**How do you know this?**_

**Scorpion: **_**Reptile got suspicious because of their status updates, so he listened in on their conversation in their layer, they're coming here to stop the spell and to kill us.**_

**Shang Tsung: **_**LMAO, no, they're coming here to try. Okay, get the warriors ready. They just can't barge in anytime they'd like.**_

* * *

><p>Kabal, Stryker, Jax, and Sonya walk down the street, on their way to break the spell.<p>

"I think this would be cooler if we were in slow motion," Stryker adds in, breaking the silence.

"I think we need a group name, like, _Team Rocket!_" Sonya says, contributing to the broken silence. The group stops, and stares at each other, trying to think of a group name. "Oh! I got it," Sonya exclaims, "The Easter Bunnies". The group stares at her with odd expressions. Sonya frowns.

"I'm a big, tough man, plus, I'm black. No way in hell will my name be associated with..._bunnies._" Jax shutters with disgust.

Sonya begins to reply, but is interupted by an evil laugh. "Well, we'll just have to fix that, won't we?" Sheeva says, glaring at the group. Sheeva reaches into her vagina and pulls out a rainbow gun, shooting a bright purple ray at Jax. Everyone else ducks as Jax flies back. Sonya runs to Jax,

"Are you okay?" She asks, kneeling down next to him.

He rolls his eyes playfully, "Gurl, aren't I always." he jumps up, and begins pulling at his eye-lashes. Everyone's jaw drops. Sheeva puts all four of her arms on her waist with content.

"What bitches, gotta prollem?" Jax snaps, his eyes shooting to Stryker's waist. A smile formed on his face.

"Guys, the spell...it's in the gun!" Kabal shouts pointing to Sheeva. She rolls her eyes, prepared to fight. Sonya and Stryker runs at Sheeva, fists ready. Sheeva grabs Sonya's throat with one arm, and Stryker's with another. She throws Sonya back, causing her to slam into Jax. Kabal looks at Sonya and Jax, both of them are out cold, and Stryker is being choked. Kabal sighs, and tosses a throwing knife at Sheeva's arm. The knife jabs into her wrist, causing her to let Stryker go.

Stryker falls to his knees and coughs. Sheeva lets out a growl and runs at Kabal. As she gets to him, he dashes out of the way, causing her to fall forward on her face. Kabal lifts his hook sword up, and swings at Sheeva's head, sending it clean off.

* * *

><p><strong>Kenshi: <strong>_**Man, the blind life is the lonely life. **_

**Comments:**

**Sareena: **_**Aww, have you given Hellen Keller a call?**_

**Kenshi: **_**Sareena, I despise you! -.-**_

**Reptile: **_**Hisssssssssssssssssss, Sareena, messssssssssssssssssssssage me!**_

**Reptile's Messages [1]:**

**Sareena: **_**What, Reptile?**_

**Reptile: **_**Hello, Ssssssssssssssssareena, you are wanted in Outworld, Kabal and..."The Group" isssssssssss planning to take out Sssshang Tsung and Quan Chi. They have already taken out Sssssheeva. We need you to make sssssure they don't get any farther.**_

**Sareena: **_**Ughhh, fineeee! And do you still have to roll your S's? I mean, this is Facebook you know-where accents don't exist.**_

**Reptile: **_**Jusssssst go!**_

* * *

><p>"Damn, my head is going nuts!" Sonya exclaims, holding her head while walking with the others.<p>

"I'm pretty sure Sindel and Shao Kahn are going to be pissed that you killed off Sheeva." Stryker says, popping his neck.

"Fuck'it. I mean, no one stays dead in the world of Mortal Kombat...give it a day, she'll be back." Kabal says, taking a bite of an apple.

"Hey bitches! I think this is Quan Chi's temple. Oh, snap! It is!" Jax flaunts.

"Where did he get that shirt? He didn't have one a minute ago. I mean, all of a sudden he was shirtless and now he's wearing a black tank top that says _Priss Power!"_ Stryker wonders.

All of a sudden, a purple mist appears from the sky, and out of it comes Sareena, dressed in a black and purple spandex suit. "Is it jus me or does that outfit just _scream _biker slut?" Sonya says, crossing her arms.

"Is it just me or does your outfit just scream butch, closeted lesbian begging to get out of the closet?" Sareena shoots back, walking closer to The Group. "Okay, so here's how it's going to work, I'm going to 'gayify' your or whatever, then I'm going back to my program. _The Real World: Edenia _is on and I just **have** to find out what happens to Rain after his girlfriend found out that he had slept with that queen!" Sareena explains, getting lost in her thought.

"Gurl please, she is gonna dump him! But good, he ain't all dat and a bag'o'Doritos, for real." Jax says, placing a hand on his hip. Sareena growls at him. "Bitch, what'r'you? A dog? Whateva, boo. You look like a fuckin' slutty ass Catwoman..and not Michelle Pheifer's Catwoman, Halle Berry's Catwoman!"

Sareena's jaw drops. She then lunges at Jax, knocking him over. She sits on top of him, lifting her fist up to punch him. He punches her with his metal arms, and shoots her with his rocket. She flies back, and lands on her butt. Sareena jumps up to find Sonya in her face. "Oh god, now Ellen wants to fight." Sareena remarks, inching even closer to Sonya's face.

Sonya was excited about fighting Sareena. As Sonya prepared for strike, she heard a long _bang_, followed by Sareena's blood spilling all over Sonya. Sonya turns around roughly, "What the hell, Stryker?" she shouted angrily.

Stryker shruged.

"Don't worry, Sonya, you'll still get to fight," said Kabal, swallowing heavily.

"Oh yeah, who?" Sonya asked wiping blood from her face.

"...him." Kabal says, pointing beyond Sonya. Sonya turns around slowly. Her jaw drops. The large, monsterous creature emerged from the dark, and they saw..._Goro_.

AN3: Woahhhh! Intense. I am aware that this is a bit more serious, than funny. I mean, this isn't really meant to be taken seriously, but yeah, I put less humor in this part. But in The Group Part II, I will add more humor. Please let me know what you think, and if I should do more 'special chapters/parts' like this in the future.


	6. The Group, Part II!

AN: This is the second and last part of "The Group" special chapter series. The Conclusion. The next chapter will be just like chapters 1-4. Also, let me know if you think I should do more "special chapters" like this in the future in your review. **Warning! **This gets a little explicit towards the end. Also, still taking requests. ENJOY.

**Jax: Awww, snap! Shit just got real, boo.**

**Comments:**

**Goro: Damn straight.**

"Oh man. Oh god. Oh man. Oh god. Oh-" Stryker paces back and forth.

"Stryker, don't start." Kabal says, rolling his non-existing eyes.

"Goro, what does your penis look like? Do you even _have _a penis?" Jax asks, studying his bionic nails.

Goro roars angrily, and grinds his hands together. The Group watches nervously, getting in their fighting positions. Out of Goro's belt, comes two rainbow throwing knives (which he hold in his top two hands), and two silver throwing knives (holding with his bottom hands).

"Son of cunt, the spell is in the knives too!" Stryker exlclaims pulling out his gun. Goro roars, throwing both rainbow knives, they're heading straight at Stryker.

Kabal pulls out his hook swords from no where, and strikes the rainbow knives with it, relflecting them back at Goro. They strike him in both shoulders, causing him to cry out. "AHHHHHHHHHHH"

Sonya, Stryker, Jax, and Kabal stare at Goro. The beast begins to shake wildly and then spontaneously combusts into rainbow glitter.

**Kabal wins.**

**Flawless Victory...**

**homosexuALITY!**

"Okay, I know I should be used to it by now, but where does that darn voice come from?" Sonya asks, looking around.

Everybody shrugs.

"Alright, guys, we're going in. Prepare for the worst."

They enter Shang Tsung's lair cautiously. Out of no where appears Baraka, and behind him, two Takartan soldiers.

Jax begins laughing wildly. Everyone looks at him confused.

"It's funny because they're ugly."

The one Takartan soldier attacks Sonya, and the other attacks Jax. Hehe, that rhymed.

A female Takartan soldier falls from the ceiling, and attacks Stryker.

"Guess it's just you and me." Kabal remarks, punching wildly at Baraka. Baraka legsweeps Kabal, and slices through his leg, sending it flying through the air.

"Kabal!" Sonya shouts, attempting to run to his rescue. But before she could get far, the Takartan soldier that she was fighting grabs her hair, and throws her down.

"" Barak says, lifting his blade up to strike again.

Suddenly, Baraka's legs turns to ice suddenly. Baraka looks around, and struggles to move them.

Sub Zero appears, "Lets see how you like it." he says, kicking through the ice. Blood pours from Baraka's limbless legs, as he flops around on the floor like a fish. A cloud of mist appears, and out comes Smoke. He kills off the three soldiers, and flashes back to Sub-Zero. An ice leg appears onto Kabal's wound, and then melts quickly off, revealing a new leg.

"Thanks gays...I mean guys!" Kabal says, standing up. "Will you be helping us?"

Sub-Zero and Smoke nod, beginning to hold hands.

Jax puts his hand on his chest, and begins to tear up.

**Shao Kahn's Messages [1]**

**Mileena: **_**Daddy, The Group is invading Shang Tsung's lair, you have to stop them!**_

**Shao Kahn: **_**That is not my concern!**_

**Mileena: **_**But, Dad!**_

**Shao Kahn: **_**OMG, just STFU, I'm trying to fuck your mother. Do you know how hard it is to shove my dick so far up her vagina, that you see the outline of it on her cheek? NO. So back the hell off. Love ya!**_

Sub-Zero kicks through the door, and sees Shang Tsung sitting on his thrown.

"You're dirty, old ass is goin' down!" Jax says, cocking his head, and putting his hand on his hip.

"I'd like to see you touch me!" Shang Tsung says, jumping in front of The Group.

Sub-Zero and Smoke attack him, attempting to fight him off. More Takartan soldiers come through the door.

"Sonya, Stryker, go fight them off, I'm going to find the source of the spell. I'm going to need Jax for this one."

The two nod and begin killing off the soldiers. "Alright Jax, do your thing." Kabal says, tapping Jax's back. (but not literally)

Jax puts on a pink strap-on, and pelvic thrusts four times. "It's up there!" Jax says, pointing to a big box up stairs.

Kabal and Jax run up the stairs, knocking a couple of Takartan's off the rail. Kabal breaks the box open with his hook sword, and gives Jax a confused look.

"It's a penis?" he says.

"Yes. I have to suck it until it cums. As soon as it cums, the spell will be broken." Jax explains, picking up the penis.

Sonya kills off the last Takartan soldier. She flashes Stryker a look, and he runs to help fight off Shang Tsung.

Sonya runs up the stairs, and gasps.

Jax deepthroats the penis, while tickling it's balls. Kabal and Sonya close their eyes. He continues until the room flashes a bright light, and then returns to normal. Everyone falls to the ground.

Jax, covered in cum, picks up Sonya and rubs her all over his face, and throws her back down. "That...was whack as fuck, son." Jax says, spitting on the ground.

"_UGH!" _Sonya shouts, "I'm not your rag!"

The three of them run down stairs to meet Sub-Zero, Smoke, and Stryker. Shang Tsung was lying on the ground.

"It's over, the spells been reversed!" Sonya says, crossing her arms.

"Good job guys!" Styker applauds.

Sub-Zero and Smoke star at each other. Everyone's attention turns towards them. Sub-zero rips off his mask, followed by Smoke and the two passionatly kiss.

"I thought the spell was broken, OMGWTFSON?" Sonya asks, confused.

"It was...but our love existed before the spell." Sub-Zero answers, continuing to make out with Smoke.

"Awww!" the group says in unison.

**Smoke: OMG, what an eventful day! I stopped Shang Tsung's spell, AND Sub-Zero shoved his tongue so far down my throat that it triggered my gag reflex. Yikes! XXOO.**

** 15 People Like This**

Meanwhile...

"You failed me, Shang Tsung..." Mileena says, pacing back and forth in Shang's blood soaked lair. "I-I'm sorry, they were too strong...bitch." Shang Tsung pleas.

"My plan to make everyone gay? Great. The fact that they thought it was you and Quan Chi? Great. The fact that they actually stopped the spell? FUCKING TERRIBLE!" Mileena says, growling wildly.

"You can always try something new, they still think I was the one that made the spell." Shang Tsung says, attempting to stand up.

"Just...stay down." Mileena scolds.

2 Days Later...

"Are you _sure _you have to leave?" Sonya frowns, watching Sub-Zero and Smoke finish packing.

"Yes, Sonya, we'll be back in a year." Smoke responds, laying his hand on her shoulder.

"Remind me again why you're leaving?" Sonya asks, taking a lick at her dagger shaped lolipop.

"Because...we need a vacation. Just the two of us." Sub-Zero asks.

"Bye, Sonya." Smoke waves.

Smoke and Sub-Zero wave. The two hold hands, and teleport away, leaving Sonya in their empty temple alone.

AN2: I really hoped you like it! And yes, Sub-Zero and Smoke are leaving the story. Not forever, just for a while. I am having them leave because: 1, they deserve a break and 2, I want to focus on different characters that have barely, or haven't been in the series yet. **btw, **this is in no way meant to be hateful, or homophobic, and everything in this story is for humorous purposes. Thank you! (:


	7. Chapter 7: Newbie!

AN1: Hey guys, been awhile! Well, the last few weeks have been stressful and such because it was the last few weeks of school. I think you could imagine how hectic that was! Getting my last few grades in, making up stuff, saying my goodbyes, and getting my final test scores back (which determined if I passed or failed the grade: I passed!) But yeah, school is over and now I have the summer! Woo! This chapter is mostly filler, and the next one will be much better, I was just in a rush to get this one out! (:

**Skarlett: **_**Confessions! #like(:**_

** 10 People Like This.**

* * *

><p><strong>Skarlett: <strong>_**Confession1: Kool-aid is my fav. beverage.**_

** 2 People Like This.**

**Comments:**

**Baraka: **_**IKR! And babies are my favorite after lunch snack!**_

* * *

><p><strong>Skarlett: <strong>_**Confession2: My costume was lazily put together by Ed and John!**_

** 50 People Like This.**

**Sonya: **_**Yeah, and your hair kinda looks like my period.**_

* * *

><p><strong>Skarlett: <strong>_**Confession3: I enjoy penis, bubbles, kites, open-toe shoes, dildos that looks like actors, alcohol infused whipped cream, nipple tassles, and long walks on the beach.**_

**5 People Like This.**

* * *

><p><strong>Skarlett: <strong>_**Confession4: Genital Warts is a big turn on!**_

**Mileena Likes This.**

* * *

><p><strong>Skarlett: <strong>_**Confession5: I'm a church goin' girl...obviously.**_

**3 People Like This.**

* * *

><p><strong>Skarlett: <strong>_**Confession6: I hate when nobody comments/likes my status...***hint(:**_

* * *

><p><strong>Skarlett: <strong>_**Confession7: ...**_

* * *

><p><strong>Skarlett: <strong>_**Confession8: LIKE CONFESSIONS 6 & 7 DAMNIT!**_

* * *

><p><strong>Skarlett: <strong>_**Confession9: SERIOUSLY!**_

* * *

><p><strong>Skarlett: <strong>_**Confession10: ...I hate people.**_

AN2: Like I said, this is mostly a filler chapter. I used the character Skarlett because, if you don't know, she will soon be released to MK9 as DLC (Downloadable Content) and I felt her character would be fun to use for this chapter. **Also, **if you don't use Facebook, or are unfamiliar with "Confessions" it's a Facebook status type thing where you make a status "Confessions, like" and for each like you get, you put another confession. Just thought I'd clear that up.

Well, now that I'm back, let me know what or who you want to see! 3 Thanks for all your support and reviews! Out of 41 reviews, not one of them is negative, thank you!


	8. Chapter 8: Musical!

**Mileena:**_** Feels go good bein' bad!  
><strong>_ **10 People Like**

**Comments:**

**Shao Kahn: **_**Omg, this iz ur dad wut did u dooh?1?11111111111[x345455]  
><strong>_**Mileena: **_**There's no way I'm turning backk!  
><strong>__****Shao Kahn: To what, turning back to what? I don't even know my daughter :(****_**Mileena: **_**Now the pain is my pleasure 'cause nothing could measure, Ohohohoh  
><strong>_**Shao Kahn: Pain is your pleasure? What?  
><strong>**Mileena: **_**Love is great, love is fine (Oh oh oh oh oh)  
><strong>_**Shao Kahn: **_**Tell me about it!  
><strong>_**Mileena: **_**Out the box, outta line (Oh oh oh oh oh)  
><strong>_**Shao Kahn: **_**Box? LINE? Are you doing drugs Mileena?  
><strong>_**Mileena: **_**The affliction of the feeling leaves me wanting more (Oh oh oh oh oh)  
><strong>_**Shao Kahn: Oh god, is it CRACK? Who is selling crack in Outworld?  
><strong>**Mileena: **_**'Cause I may be bad, but I'm perfectly good at it  
><strong>_**Shao Kahn:**_** You certainly are bad, and will be getting a spanking when you get home. Nothing good aout it missy.  
><strong>_**Mileena: **_**Sex in the air, I don't care, I love the smell of it  
><strong>_**Shao Kahn: You smell sex? Oh no, why would you wanna do that?  
><strong>**Mileena: **_**Sticks and stones may break my bones  
><strong>_**Shao Kahn: **_**So do hammers.  
><strong>_**Mileena: **_**But chains and whips excite me**_

* * *

><p><strong>Johnny Cage: <strong>_**Kano is chocking me ):**_**  
><strong>

**Comments:**

**Kano: **_**Still alive but but you're barely breathin' :D**_

* * *

><p><strong>Sonya: <strong>_**Hey,Jax Briggs, where is the paperwork at?**_

**Comments:**

**Jax: **_**Written in the stars.  
><strong>_**Sonya: **_**Haha, no really, where?  
><strong>_**Jax: **_**A million miles away.  
><strong>_**Sonya: **_**Jax, gtf off my status.  
><strong>_**Jax: **_**I'm on my way.**_

* * *

><p><strong>Taven Edenian added 2 photos to the album: <strong>_**Look At Me Now!  
><strong>_

* * *

><p><strong>Skarlett: <strong>_**Hey u guiz, what song reminds you of me?**_

**Comments:**

**Kitana:**_**The Cave.  
><strong>_**Skarlett: **_**Lol why?  
><strong>_**Kitana: **_**Because your vagina's like a cave.**_

**Kenshi: _s_ong_l_.**

**Comments:**

**Baraka: **_**:'( that's some deep shit man.**_

* * *

><p><strong>Rain: <strong>_**Has anyone else realized everyone's singing and posting lyrics on their status?  
><strong>_** 2 People Like This  
>Comments:<strong>

**Jade: **_**It's Raining mennnnnnnnnn!  
><strong>_**Rain: Ha. Ha. Real cute, it's sooooo funny because my name's Rain :T  
><strong>**Jade: **_**HALLELUJAH!**_

AN: Okay guys, another short chapter. I'm sorry, I've just been so busy this Summer :'(, but trust me, I'd keep reading because there's a lot more to come, yes, hilarity does ensue. Also, another 'storyline' type chapter is coming up soon that you don't want to miss. It'll have something to do with this chapter, and Skarlett's intro chapter. BTW, has Skarlett been released as DLC yet? I'd certainly like to play as her. Does anyone know? Thanks.  
>, as usual, please, please review so I know what I'm doing right and wrong, I am going to start working harder on this and I want to know your opinions. Thank you guys so much for the great reviews so far, I really do appreciate it. It just touches a young writers heart, y'know? :')<p> 


	9. Chapter 9: Fergalicious!

AN: God guys, it's been awhile! Well, I'm back with an all new chapter of MK Facebook! Yaaaaaay! Anyways, sorry I haven't been updating, I've been really busy {and when I wasn't busy, I was lazy}. But I'm back with a new chapter, and like the last, it's a musical one leading to a new story line! ;D. Review please, and let me know what you want to see, and what I can do to make this better! Also, no copyright infringement intended.

**Kitana's Wall:**

**Mileena: **_**Kitana, why did you leave? I'm bisexual you know.  
><strong>_**Kitana: **_**I grew tired of the same.  
><strong>_**Mileena: **_**?  
><strong>_**Kitana: **_**Then one night...  
><strong>_**Mileena: **_**...  
><strong>_**Kitana: **_**Packed my things. And told the one I love...I'LL BE BACK ONE DAY!**_

* * *

><p><strong>Skarlet: <strong>_**is Peering through a curtain of blood...**_

**2 People Like This  
><strong>

* * *

><p><strong>Rain: <strong>_**You know whats crazy? The author of this story has been so wrapped up in his dumb, **__**unimportant life that he just forgot about us and this story.**_

** 50 People Like This  
>Comments:<strong>

**Jax: **_**I know! And this chapter is so rushed, and not humorous at all. It's obvious that he **__**didn't sit down and thoroughly think this chapter out! Oh, and to the writer of this, FUCK **__**YOU!  
><strong>_**Sonya: **_**Lol why?  
><strong>_**Jax: **_**I still have the taste of cum in my mouth...**_

* * *

><p><strong>Shao Kahn: <strong>_**So pissed -.-**_

**Comments:**

**Quan Chi: **_**Why?  
><strong>_**Hsu Hao: **_**I know a reason to cheer up!  
><strong>_**Shao Kahn: **_**What is the reason, totally unimportant character that no one likes or cares **__**about?  
><strong>_**Hsu Hao: **_**Because it's friday, friday!  
><strong>_**Shao Kahn: **_**No, it's not.  
><strong>_**Hsu Hao: **_**Friday friday!  
><strong>_**Shao Kahn: **_**I'll kill you!  
><strong>_**Hsu Hao: **_**GETTIN DOWN ON FRIDAYYY!  
><strong>_**Shao Kahn: **_**Quan Chi, bro, help me out, bro. K bro? K?  
><strong>_**Quan Chi: **_**Is Fabula Mos Terminus In Chapter Quadraginta!  
><strong>_**Cyber Sub-Zero: **_**Hey. Hey. Don't. You. Curse. Him. Beeboopbeep  
><strong>_**Hsu Hao: **_**EVERYBODY'S LOOKIN FORWARD TO THE jdgjhjghfjghfjglfdsjsssssssss (see more)  
><strong>_**Kitana: **_**what was with all of the random letters?  
><strong>_**Sindel: **_**For real, it's like he has tourettes or something..  
><strong>_**Mileena: **_**I liked that song.  
><strong>_**Kitana: **_**Quan Chi! No killing people over Facebook!  
><strong>_**Sindel: **_**Why are you so worked up? He was poorly developed anyways.  
><strong>_

* * *

><p><strong>Sonya: <strong>_**God, I'm sweaty.**_

**76 People Like This:**

**Comments:**

**Johnny: **_**Hey Sonya?  
><strong>_**Sonya: **_**...WHAT?  
><strong>_**Johnny: **_**If I said I want your body now,  
><strong>_**Sonya: **_**Oh god..  
><strong>_**Johnny: **_**Would you hold it against me?  
><strong>_**Sonya: **_**Yeah.  
><strong>_**Johnny: **_**Cause y**__**ou feel like paradise,  
><strong>_**Sonya: Actually, I feel tired and sweaty.  
><strong>**Johnny: **_**And I need a vacation tonight.**_

* * *

><p><strong>Sareena: <strong>_**Soooo tireddd kk!**_

**Comments:**

**Tanya: **_**Lawd Jesus, boo. What are you, stupid?  
><strong>_**Sareena: **_**lolno I'mmmm: FERGALICIOUS!  
><strong>_

* * *

><p><strong>Jade: <strong>_**OMG! I heard something went down in Outworld. Anyone there?**_

**Comments:**

**Mileena: **_**Omg, you would not believe your eyes!  
><strong>_**Jade: **_**You were there? What happened?  
><strong>_**Mileena: **_**There were 10 million fireflies!  
><strong>_**Jade: **_**uhh, what?  
><strong>_**Mileena: **_**Yeah! They lit up the world as I fell asleep!  
><strong>_**Jade: **_**Let me guess, they filled the open air?  
><strong>_**Mileena: **_**Pffffft, no, we fucking raped the shit out of all of them, and then through them on **__**the spikes in The Pit.**_

AN2: I'm going to have to agree with Rain and Jax on this one, this wasn't very well thought out. I've just been very busy, and I wanted to put a chapter out there to remind you guys that this story still existed! Also, to clear up any possible confusion, Quan Chi did kill Hsu Hao with his spell! ;D.

Songs used in this:

**Till I'm Gone  
>Fergalicious<br>Hold It Against Me  
>Fireflies<br>Friday  
>Blood Junkie<strong>


	10. Chapter 10: Missions!

AN: Been awhile, eh? Yeah, I've been busy with high school and that sort of thing and really haven't had time to update much. Aaaanyways, I'm back with a new chapter. This chapter is a chapter focused on _The Group_, and will lead into the all new 2-part special chapter, called: _The Kombat Is Alive. _obvious Sound of Music reference is obvious ;D enjoy!****

**Facebook Chat, 11:45 PM.**

_**Kabal added 3 people to the group; Sonya Blade, Stryker, and Jax Briggs.**_

**Kabal: **_**The Group must get together once more!  
><strong>_**Sonya: **_**Uh, no.  
><strong>_**Kabal: **_**ughomg, hear me out, okay?  
><strong>_**Stryker: **_**Listening...  
><strong>_**Kabal: **_**I think there's been another spell cast. Have you noticed how everyone's been so...so...  
><strong>_**Jax: **_**Musical?  
><strong>_**Sonya: **_**...no...  
><strong>_**Jax: **_**Oh really, cause weren't you singing 'Toxic' just last night?  
><strong>_**Sonya: **_**I told you that in confidence! : (  
><strong>_**Kabal: **_**k u guiz, shut up! Look, we need to find out whats doing this, and stop it.  
><strong>_**Jax: **_**No way bruh! The last time we did this, I ended up gay and covered in cum!  
><strong>_**Stryker: **_**Ahh...good times.  
><strong>_**Kabal: **_**Okay, okay, all valid points, but look, we have no idea whats going on. This could be fatal.  
><strong>_**Jax: **_**Yeah, well...the people in Sound of Music ended up just fine..  
><strong>_**Sonya: **_**Oh I love that movie!  
><strong>_**Stryker: **_**Omgomgomg I no ryte!  
><strong>_**Kabal: **_**GUYS!111!ONE! Are you in or not?  
><strong>_**Sonya: **_**Ughh, I'm in, but I don't like it.  
><strong>_**Kabal: **_**: )  
><strong>_**Stryker: **_**I'm in!  
><strong>_**Jax: **_**I'm black!  
><strong>_**Kabal: **_**Alright! The Group is back again!**_


	11. The Kombat Is Alive, Part I!

**AN: **Hey guys, this is it! Part one of "The Kombat is Alive"! I hope you guys like it, it's like a big musical! Keep in mind there may not be many singing parts in this one, but there are still two more parts to come (decided to make this special chapter series into three parts, instead of two). Please let me know what you think, thanks!**  
><strong>  
>The sky was bright and beautiful, and Sonya blade was in a nice green field, practicing her Tai-Chi techniques that was shown to her when she was a small child. As she practiced, a familiar voice came from behind her.<p>

"That would look better if you were naked."

Sonya rolled her eyes and turned around-Johnny Cage. "What is it that you want from me, Johnny?" Sonya asks with discontent from seeing him. He looks down to the moment, standing still with his face to the ground. Sonya stares at him oddly...what is he doing?

His head suddenly bursts up, and his hand shoots out towards Sonya. A high, theatrical rythm begins to play, and Johnny opens his mouth, and lets the lyrics pour out!

"Baby, without out you, I'm incomplete!  
>With out you, I'm Johnny who?<br>Without you, my skies aren't blue,

Buuuuuuuuuuuuuut,

When I'm with you, everything seems so new!  
>When I'm with you, my hearts on fire, you know its true,<p>

When I'm w-"

The music suddenly comes to a hault, and Sonya is overcome with a ghetto, strong black woman attitude. A loud, in-your-face hip hop beat burts from the sky.

"You sing to me,  
>I'm like guuurl please,<br>The words that you spittin' aint nothin' to me,

Without me, the skies aren't blue?

Huh, well honey without you, my skies are blueeeee!

Damn straight this number is diiiissin',  
>Bitch you left me, you ain't even know what'choo missin'<p>

You made people think I left you?  
>Oh honey, I wish I did toooooo!<p>

SNAP."

Sonya falls to the ground, breathing heavily. After a moment, she looks up at Johnny, who is staring at her with a hurt look on his face. "Johnny, I-", she begins to say, but her mouth couldn't form anymore words. He shook his head and turned around, walking away into the setting sun.

**The Kombat is Alive,  
>Part I<strong>

**Sonya Blade: **_**Woah...wtf just happened?  
><strong>_**2 People Like This**

**Jax Briggs: **_**Time to end this shit. If I sing one more Alicia Keys song, I'm gonna pop!  
><strong>_**55 People Like This**

**Kabal: **_**Eeeep! We're goin' on a trip, in our favorite rocket shiiiip!  
><strong>_**4 People Like This**

**Stryker: **_**That awkward moment when your police officer colleagues begin rapping 'Fuck Tha Police'...  
><strong>_** 40 People Like This  
><strong>

* * *

><p>Sonya enters The Group's headquarters, her hands pulling at her hair.<p>

"Sonya, you're late." Stryker crosses his arms. That boy trollin'.

"Sorry, my Tai-Chi session turned into Step Up 3D." Sonya rolls her eyes, still picking at her hair. Jax scoffs, "Ech, Step Up 3D can Step Down To Hell. I'm black, and even _I _hated that shit."

Kabal tilts his head, "Why are you picking at your hair?" he asks curiously.

"Because, Johnny and I were Destiny's Child back there, and I ain't tryna have Beyonce's weave." Sonya replies, finally convinced there are no tracks in her hair.

"Alright, enough with the pop culture references. We need to theorize." Kabal says, a smile formed upon his face-he had used his word of the week, _theorize_, for the fifth time today. He was pleased.

"Well, can't we just assume that it's Shang Tsung? I mean, he's probably just trying to get revenge on us for spoiling his last plot attempt." Sonya suggests, crossing her arms and leaning against the desk.

"Yeah, I mean, this is probably just his plan B. I say we bust right through his doors like we did last time, and beat the shit out of him. Mission accomplished." Stryker shrugs.

"No," Kabal snaps, "it can't be that easy. Shang Tsung will be expecting us, it won't be easy at all. I'm going to assume that this is more than a Plan B-it's a lot more powerful than that!" Kabal explains, looking at everyone through his solid metal mask.

"Shit just got real." Jax said, his eyes wide with surprise.

"_NO!" _said a voice, that echoed throughout the shadows of the layer. Everyone turns their heads to a dark figure-a woman. She came out of the shadows, and a random, deep bassed horror-themed intsrumental theme played as Mileena emerged. Sonya and Stryker got into their fighting positions. "Calm down, kidssss." Mileena teased, strutting towards the group playfully.

Kabal crossed his arms and stool tall in front of the beastly woman. "Leave now, Mileena. Things could get ugly...oh wait." he cracked. Everyone started laughing.

"IT'Z FUNNY CUZ SHE'Z UGLY OMGOMGOMG" Jax laughed.

"Grrrrr!" Mileena growled. "Look, I can help with this spell. It is quite powerful, but it isn't Shang Tsung that is the doing this. It's Jade." Mileena reveals, crossing her arms.

Everyone looks at her oddly. "What? I'M BISEXUAL U NO!" Mileena shouts.

"Jade would _never _do this, do you think we're dumb?" Jax rants, balling his metal fists.

"Well, yes actually," Mileena says, a thinking expression on her face, "but, you're right. Jade's holier-than-thou, goody-goody ass would never do something like that. She's possessed by Quan Chi." Mileena explains, staring at all of them.

"I call bullshit." Sonya burts.

"Yeah, why would _you_ help _us_? Quan Chi is one of your guys, remember?" Stryker asks, his tone similar to when he does interrogations.

"Because, he's going to use Jade's body as a tool to overthrow Daddy, and enslave me. Now, now, kiddies, I know you're thinking 'Why would we help her maintain power?'..." she explains.

"Actually I was thinking that I'm bored..." Jax sighs, studying his mechanical nails.

Mileena glares, "but, this spell could also do great damage to you and your wortless beings. Pretty soon, the music spell will eventually spread beyond the Kombatants, and into all of the realms, infecting everyone. All of the dancing and singing will cause all beings to melt into nothing. Shit happens, sain."

The Group knew what they had to do...they had to work with, _Mileena.  
><em>

* * *

><p><strong>Sonya Blade: <strong>_**Working with Mileena sucks, she's like a fucking goat. She'll eat anything and everything.  
><strong>_** 20 People Like This  
>Comments:<br>****Shao Kahn: **_**Just how daddy made her! : )  
><strong>_

* * *

><p>The Group was ready. They were set with weapons, food, and chocolate condoms. All they needed now was to get to Outworld.<p>

Mileena did twirls in the middle of the street, singing happily.

"Bitch gives all new meaning to 'playing in traffic'," Sonya whispers to Stryker as the Group walks slowly behind Mileena.

"Here is where I will open the portal!" Mileena says contently. A large, orangish red portal pops up in front of them. "Last one in is a rotten corpse!" she says, skipping in.

The Group all jump in.

Before them was a hell-like place surrounded by lava and fire, the ground was nothing but dried magma. "I hate this place more and more each time I visit it," Jax complains. Seven takartans appear before them.

"Grrr, stop here Mileena." says one of the Takartans.

"Oh, but I was having _so _much fun!" Mileena grins. "Now dear, get out of my way, things may get ugly...er."

The Takartan growls, and orders the six others to attack. Mileena laughed. She stabbed a si into one of the soliders head, and back-kicked another into the lava. Two more ran at her. She grabbed them both, and slammed them together. The impact knocked them both down. She jumped onto another, and ripped her mask off, biting into it's neck. She leaped off of that one, and onto another; her nails dug into the Takartan soldier's head, and ripped it clean off. She jumped off of the decapitated creature, and wiped herself down. The seventh one was running in the opposite direction, she shot her projectile from her Si's and they shot through the Takartan like he was butter.

"Time to move." Mileena said happily, skipping down the rocky path.

* * *

><p><strong>Jax: <strong>_**Damn, now that's a chick you wanna party with.  
>3 People Like This<br>**_

* * *

><p>The five of them enter a large, dark castle. "This is Daddy's lair. Shang Tsung should be here, but don't expect finding him to be easy." Mileena says, looking around eagerly, obviously wanting to fight.<p>

"Since when is anything easy?" Kabal replies, also looking around the large castle. They hard a rough, loud clawing sound. Like nails on a chalk board. They all began to look around cautiously, trying desperatly to figure out what the noise was.

A loud laughter echoed throughout. A figure fell from the ceiling, and landing on its feet behind them. They quickly turned around.

"...Freddy." Mileena says quietly, a small grin forming on her hideous face.

_To Be Continued..._

AN: Intense right? Yeah, it gets better too...Freddy sings! There is a lot more to come in the next two parts, I hope you guys stay put!


	12. The Kombat Is Alive, Part II!

AN: Hey guys, ready for the second part of the Kombat musical? Woot! Aaaaanyways, I want to do a halloween chapter, but I don't know how it's going to work. I don't want to upload a Halloween chapter and THEN _The Kombat is Alive 3 _, so I'm not quite sure how to do that. Any suggestions?  
>Also, few things: This may be short, but part 3 will be epic! I have part 3 planned, but if you have any requests or ideas for the next part, that'd be cool! Lastly, a user messaged me and thought that the earlier chapters were homophobic-let me just clear this up, I was <span>not<span> being a homophobe, especially since I am _gay _myself. I just wanted to clear that up, and I'm happy that user contacted me and let me know, so I can clear it up with everyone else! Thanks! : )

Freddy began to laugh heavily. He put his clawed hand on his chest; The Group got into their fighting stances.

"W-what is it?" Stryker asked.

"What? Oh now I'm _deeply _offended. I'm Freddy Kruegar of course."

Music fills the room, and Freddy begins to smile. "Aw, fuck.." Sonya says, sighing and crossing her arms.

_"I'm evil, I'm scary,_  
><em>and very very very,<em>  
><em>BAD!<em>

_I haunt your dreams,_  
><em>You scream and shout,<em>  
><em>That was until Shao Kahn pulled me out,<em>  
><em>That's why I'm here in this boring place,<em>  
><em>The only way back is to cut your face,<em>  
><em>Into pieces, pieces, you'll fall apart,<em>  
><em>Then I'll go home, and then I'll start...<em>

_THE KIIIIILLLIIIING, THE KIIIIILLLLING AGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIN!"_

Freddy's arms were spread, his chest was extended and his head was back. The Group stared at him in shock.

"Freddy, Freddy, we fight against Shao Kahn, we can help you get back!" Kabal pleas.

"What? No. A creature like that is going back to the Special Forces HQ." Sonya insists.

"No, no, no children. Did you not learn anything from my musical number? I kill you. I go home. Simple as that." Freddy smiles.

"Oh yeah, well, what happens if we kill you?" Jax asks. Everyone turns around and looks at him.

"He dies?" Kabal says, shaking his head.

"This should be fun!" Freddy says. The flames that were lighting up the room begin to flicker. Freddy falls into the ground and appears behind Kabal, "Shhhhhhh.." Freddy hisses, stabbing his gloved hand through Kabals back.

"Kabal!" Sonya calls, beginning to rush to him.

"The pretty ones are always the bravest." Freddy smiles, pushing Kabal's body to the ground. Sonya lunges at Freddy.

He grins, and dodges out of the way. She hits, the wall, and before she has a chance to turn around, his claw slashes through her back.

Stryker pulls out his gun and starts poppin' glocks at Freddy. The bullets begin dissapearing in small flames. Fire forms around Freddy's hands and a large fire ball is launched at Stryker. He screams, and the fire ball hits him, causing him to explode.

"Shit just got real..." Jax says, swallowing heavily. "MILEENA? MILEENA DAMNIT, WHERE ARE YOU?" Jax calls, as Freddy corners him, laughing.

Jax suddenly sees two si's fly into Freddy's back.

Mileena appears behind Freddy, and breaks his neck. He falls to the ground, dead. She pulls his glove off, and throws it to the ground. She lifts up her foot, and smashes it. A large blue wave comes from it, and then dissapears.

"W-what was that?" Jax asks.

"Power!" Mileena growls. "Your...mortals are alive once more. All the power was in the glove."

Sonya, Kabal, and Stryker all stand up.

"Did we win?" Stryker asks, holding his head.

"We won," Mileena says, "but we have to keep going."

* * *

><p><strong>Jax Briggs: <strong>_**I kinda, sorta was the only one that lived. I'm cool.**_

_**5 People Like This.**_

* * *

><p><em><em>**Sonya: **_**Got cut the fuck up...now I know how Jax felt when he grew up in the hood.  
>32 People Like This.<br>**_**Comments:  
>Jax: <strong>_**Just cause I'm black you think I grew up in tha hood?  
><strong>_**Sonya: **_**No, I think you grew up in the hood because everytime you get into an arguement you say "YOU DON'T KNOW PAIN, I GREW UP IN THA HOOD!"  
><strong>_

* * *

><p><em><em>**Stryker: **_**Damn...**_

**2 People Like This  
><strong>

* * *

><p><strong>Kabal: <strong>_**Updating my status, after dying? I think so!**_

**8 People Like This.  
><strong>

* * *

><p><em><strong>Freddy Kruegar is in a relationship with Lucifer 2Hawt Satan<br>**_

* * *

><p><em><em>

Mileena and The Group moved on, they found their was up stairs, and into Shao Kahns thrown room-it was empty.

"Shang Tsung is usually in here. He likes to pretend that he's king, and that the statues are his peasents..." Mileena laughs.

"So, if Jade...or, well, Jade's body is what we're looking for, then why do we need Shang Tsung?" Sonya asks.

"Because he's the only one who knows where Quan Chi could have gone in Jade's body." Mileena says.

Shang Tsung appears from the shadows. "What is this fuckery you speak of, Mileena?" Shang Tsung asks.

"You know what I'm talking about, fool." Mileena growls. "Tell me where!" she says.

"I don't know what y-UGH" Shang Tsung starts, but his neck is suddenly snapped by Mileena.

"Well, he doesn't know anything. Let's go." Mileena says, scurrying out.

Everyone exchanges looks before following after her.

* * *

><p><strong>Sonya Blade: <strong>_**What the fuck is going on?**_

**1 Person Likes This**

* * *

><p>They enter a room, it looked to be a sparringtraining room.

"Why are we in here Mileena, what is going on?" Stryker asks.

"I think she might be in here. Jade has the ability to uh...suck other warriors powers from them...yeah, that's it!" Mileena says.

The room was empty, except for a moving, vortex like pool of blood on the floor! A woman in red emerged from it, knives ready. "Leave. Now. This is between Shao Kahn and I!"

"Daddy's in here?" Mileena asks.

"No, but he will be. You're his...spawn aren't you? You have Kahn's blood. YOU WILL DIE." Skarlet growls, shooting a blood ball at Mileena, sending Mileena to the ground.

She and Mileena begin violently fighting.

* * *

><p><strong>Strkyer: <strong>_**Normally I'd be excited to see a chick fight...but this...**_

**8 People Like This  
><strong>

* * *

><p>Skarlet's body slowly rotates in a circular motion.<p>

_Finish her..._

Mileena jump kicks Skarlet, sending her face first into the ground.

"_Ugh, _that was like fighting a period." Mileena complains, shaking blood off her.

Suddenly, the hear the door open. They all turn around.

In come three people: Jade, followed by Kitana and Lui Kang.

"Mileena!" Jade calls, her arms crossed.

_To be concluded..._


	13. The Kombat Is Alive, Part III!

AN: Damn, how long has it been? Yeah, yeah I know. But give me a break! There's been a lot going on with my family and school, and I haven't had any time at all to update. But I'm finally back with part 3! PLEASEPLEASEPLEASE tell me what you think, I'm sorry if it seems a bit rushed, but I was in a hurry. I have a great finale coming up!

**_The Kombat is Alive, part 3._**

"What lies have you been spreading?" Jade says with a stern voice, quickling walking to confront Mileena.

Kitana and Lui Kang stop at the door.

"What is it that you're planning, _bitch_?" Jade says, her face heavy with disgust.

"Moi? Planning? Oh nothing at all my dear Jade...or shall I say, _Quan Chi_!" Mileena laughs maniacally.

"Quan Ch-what?" Jade shouts.

"Okay, what the fuck is going on here?" Sonya demands.

"Simple. Mileena has been spreading lies about me to stray you guys away from her own plan. Don't think I don't know, Mileena."

Music starts to fill the room, Jade burst into a pose, getting ready to dance. Lui Kang and Kitana appear behind her, serving as her back up dancers.

_"You're a liar,_  
><em>You're a witch,<em>  
><em>You're a grotesque little bitch,<em>

_I know, your plaaaan,_

_To stick it to the man,_

_The one you like to call dadddddddy!_

_You were scared, worried, that you wouldn't be leader,_  
><em>You were nervous that you'd be MY bottom feeder,<em>

_So you made this plan to kill us alllllllllllll!"_

Jade, Lui, and Kitana start bowing.

"You lying little skitch!" Jax hollers.

"Yes, guys, don't you see? She used that whole feux Quan Chi story so that you guys would attack me, and kill me." Jade explains further.

"But why would you of all people be leader, Jade, you and Shao Kahn are..." Sonya says in confusion.

"No, no. Not anymore. He was going to let me rule Outworld if I swore to be his dick-sucker until he dies. Sindel doesn't put out."

Everyone breaks out into 'ohhhhhhs' and 'awwwwwes' before a large, menacing voice breaks their mini-conversations.

"**_MILEENA!_ **Explain yourself!" they all turn and see Shao Kahn and Quan Chi walking in.

"Daddy...I..." Mileena was in shock.

"You..._WHAT_?" he growls.

"I...can't let that whore take my place! And whats the deal with her anyways? Is she asian, or is she black?" Mileena huffs, crossing her arms.

A white flash fills the room, and they suddenly find themself on a stage, with an audience of people screaming "_JERRY! JERRY! JERRY!" _

They all turn around and see Jerry Springer walk onto the stage.

The audience cheers.

"What the...?" Sonya exclaims.

"Mileena, she's not a whore! She's just..."

"Easy?" Mileena responds.

The ground was burting in a mixture of clapping and screams.

"Bitch, ain't no body do it like me!" Jade says, her hips swinging, and her finger moving back and forth.

Mileena lunges at Jade, the two pull each others hair.

"_JERRY, JERRY, JERRY!"_

The audience went wild.

The security breaks them up.

"Now, guys, how can we resolve this?" Jerry asks.

"This is so-" Sonya starts, but is interupted by the crowd.

"_STRIPPER POLE, STRIPPER POLE!_"

She rolled her eyes, and then ripped off her tank, and then did a series of back flips to the pole, and did a spin.

Everyone went wild.

"Look, honey, maybe I _don't _need Jade to take my place." Shao Kahn said with his head down.

Mileena grinned.

"You promised! I had to have two tummy pumps in the past 3 weeks because of you!" Jade growls.

"Look, that was fun. But I think my daughter is going to carry on my legacy!" Shao Kahn smiles.

Mileena and Shao hug.

"_AWWWWW_"

"Great, now can you get rid of the spell? I feel a song comin' on." Kabal says, stratching the back of his head.

Jax, Sonya, and Stryker all nod.

"Fiiiine." Mileena laughs. "Let the spell be overrrrrrrr!"

"That was it?" Stryker asks.

"Yep. That was it." Mileena says.

"_ONE MORE SONG, ONE MORE SONG, ONE MORE SONG!_"

The audience shouts.

Everyone exchanged looks, then shruged.

A strong hip hop, clubby beat arose.

Kabal and Stryker start krumping while Jax and Sonya near the front of the stage.

Sonya begins,

_"Uh, yeah. Uh yeah._

_There was once the pesky music spell,_

_had our vocals goin' like some kinda harmonic hell,_

_We made a plan, got suited up like motha'fuckin' batman,_

_Yeah, we got wild like a god damn sports fan,"_

Then Jax starts,

_"Hell yeah its The fuckin' Group, _

_Slammin' past bitches like mutha'fuckin' troops!  
><em>

_We killed Freddy,_

_Got killed too,_

_Then shit got sticky like microwaved Tofu,_

Everyone locks hands and sings,

_Now this concludes our musical adventure,_

_It took a trip to Jerry Springer,_

_So now this is our final song,_

_Here we are, giving a big SO LONG,_

_To this speeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeell._

The lights slowly dim, and the room becomes pitch black.

* * *

><p><strong>The Group Official Fan Page: <strong>_**And that's all, folks!**_

**200 People Like This**

AN2: Alright, that was it! Good? Bad? Lemme know. So, here's the deal. There will be a few more Facebook-y chapters, and then another story-type chapter like this, which will be the end of this series! Basically, it will be about them saving Facebook, because Mark Zuckerberg has mysteriously decided to destroy Facebook and everything having to do with it. Gasp! Anyways, but do not fear! You have not seen the last of them!

I will be starting a new story, this summer, called _Kombat of Love_. It'll be a reality television parody, formatted like series such as _The Bachelor, Rock of Love, __Flavor of Love, _etc. Lemme know what you think of the idea! Thanks to all my supporters 3


	14. Chapter 14: LMS!

AN: Hey guys, long time no see. This is a bit of a rushed chapter, but I just had an urge to go and update. I SWEAR I'll start updating with more facebook chapters soon, and sometime in the not so distant future, I will start on the Kombat dating show fic I promised. Thanks for everything guys!

Reviews are appreciated!

* * *

><p><strong>Sonya Blade: <strong>_**I swear to Raiden you guys, if I get one more damn Farmville request!**_

**12 People Like This**

* * *

><p><strong>Noob Saibot: <strong>_**LMS IF U NO HOW TEW DOOGIE**_

**23 People Like This**

* * *

><p><strong>Mileena: <strong>_**LMS IF YOU'RE INTO CANNIBILISM 3333**_

**Comments:  
>Jax Briggs: <strong>_**Bitch you scary.**_

* * *

><p><strong>Mokap: <strong>_**LMS if you think I bring a lot to the Mortal Kombat series.**_

**No One Likes This**

* * *

><p><strong>Kenshi: <strong>_**OMG haters are my motivators ok I can do anythingg LMS if you think I can do anythingggg!**_

**Comments:  
>Scorpion: <strong>_**stfu, you can do EVERYTHING.**_

**Kenshi: **_**HATUR, yes I can.**_

**Scorpion: **_**Oh yeah? Can you tell me how many fingers I'm holding up?**_

**Kenshi: **_**kk wutever u r jealous i'm gonna be the biggur person nd block youu. kk**_

* * *

><p><strong>Johnny Cage posted on Sonya Blades wall:<strong>

**Johnny Cage: **_**Hey baby, how about you, me, dinner?**_

**Comments:  
>Sonya Blade: <strong>_**Hey, how about you, your left hand, and porn?  
><strong>_**Darius: **_**BUUUUUUURN.  
><strong>_**Sub-Zero: **_**I'll take that dinner, Johnny ;D  
><strong>_**Johnny Cage: **_**Uhhhh.  
><strong>_**Smoke: **_**Sub-Zero you bitch!**_

* * *

><p><strong>Smoke went from 'in a relationship' to 'single'<strong>

* * *

><p><strong>Mileena posted on Sindels wall:<strong>

**Mileena: TBH; **_**UMMM lol you're my step mom and you rule with my daddy sometimes ummmmmm yeah lol and you have ratchet ass hair. lolol js**_

* * *

><p>AN: got a request? just leave it in a review, and I'll try to add it in to the story. thanks everyone!<p> 


	15. Chapter 15: 2013!

****Authors Note: hey yall! its been quite a while, but I'm back with all new chapters! hopefully I havent lost all of you considering you guys were the best readers ever! I've been really busy and havent had time to write, or even really think about this story. but as I said, I'm back! I read over your requests, and I am definitely going to put them into the chapters!

**Noob Saibot: **_**New year new me 3333 goalz y'all.**_

**2 People Like This.**

**Comments:  
>Sonya Blade: <strong>_**oh yeah? and what are they? to stop looking like an oil spill at car shop?  
><strong>_**Noob Saibot: **_**Uhhh I dont get it.  
><strong>_**Jax Briggs: **_**shes making fun of how black you are...which HEY, I resent that.  
><strong>_

* * *

><p><strong>Mileena: <strong>_**That twerk fight was too funny, that poor girl was so confused when my mask fell off while I wuz poppin mah pussy xxx lolz its 2013!**_

**54 People Like This.**

* * *

><p><strong>Shang Tsung: <strong>_**You poor children have NO idea whats coming to you this year. Prepare yourselves for the most horrific year of your lives. oh and happy new year!**_

**10 People Like This.**

**Comments:**  
><strong>Lui Kang:<strong>_**Oh my god stfu cuz you know yew wont say dat tew mah fayce lol  
><strong>_**Jade: **_**Wow Lui you is messy WHY IS YOU SO MESSY  
><strong>_**Stryker: **_**The only thing messy about you guys are your grammar...well, and everything else.**_

* * *

><p><strong>Sindel: <strong>_**Since its a new year I think I'm gonna go on a diet!**_

**2 People Like This.**

**Comments:  
>Shao Kahn: <strong>_**Finally baby.  
><strong>_**Sindel: **_**What is that supposed to mean?!  
><strong>_**Kitana: **_**God damnit dad.  
><strong>_**Sheeva: **_**Nigga what you need is some hairspray and a brush.**_

* * *

><p><strong>Group Message: <strong>**Jax Briggs added: Sonya Blade, Stryker, and Kabal.**

**Jax: **_**Guys...I think that Shangs plotting something. I mean, did you see that status?  
><strong>_

**Sonya: **_**I think he's jealous.**_

**Kabal: **_**what could WE have that would make HIM jealous?!**_

**Sonya: **_**Our youth.**_

**Jax: **_**Well anyways, we need to keep an eye on him, see what he's up to.**_

**Stryker: **_**Yeah, I agreeeefhkjdhfkdsj...**_

**Sonya: **_**Um Stryker, whats with the random key mash?**_

**Stryker: **_**Oh nothing..continue.**_

* * *

><p><strong>Message between Mileena and Shao Kahn:<strong>

**Mileena:**

_**Daddy, I got into strykers facebook account. So I can access all of The Groups messages. they seem to be trying to keep an eye on us, especially Shang.**_

**Shao: **_**Wow honey really? I'm impressed! How'd you do it?**_

**Mileena: **_**it really wasnt hard. his email was 'hotCopdAdDy69' and his password, was Channing Tatum...I'm not too sure why but oh well!**_

**Shao: Oh good, so you didnt have to kill him?  
><strong>

**Mileena: No...but I still did. **

**Shao: **_**Um...well..anyways. Good. Keep getting into their messages and find out what they know. **_

**Mileena: **_**Yes daddy.**_

_****  
><em>Authors Note: woah...intense. did she really kill Stryker? :o anyways, in previous chapters I know I said that I was going to end this story and move on to a spin off type deal but I've decided to keep this going longer, and totally forget about the spin off idea. also, I've had a couple comments on the format of my story, saying its not aloud. but, how else am I supposed to format a story about Facebook? if theres anyways I could 'repeal' that, let me know because they're threatening to report this story!

anyways! please review and tell me what I'm doing wrong and definitely send in your requests! if this chapter gets enough readers I'm thinking of collaborating on a story with someone! so if thats something you'd be interested in seeing, let me know, or if you're interested in being the person I collaborate with, message me!


	16. Chapter 16: Hacked!

****AN: hey guys, quick note. last chapter I said that I was interested in doing a collab story. I didnt mean that. I meant that I was interesting in collabing on a CHAPTER for THIS story. so if anyone wants to collab on a chapter of MK: Facebook, let me know!

**Mileena: **_**Hello everyone. I just want to say that I am actually a man. No, you aren't reading  
>this wrong. I am a man. Heheheheh. ~hacked.<strong>_

**Comments:  
>Noob Saibot: <strong>_**I always figured.  
><strong>_**Taven: **_**Nahh I actually believe she was hacked, I mean...will you look at that perfect grammar?  
><strong>_**Sindel: **_**True, plus I popped that little mutant out of my beefy ass twat so lets be real...she's a girl.**_

* * *

><p><strong>Jax Briggs: <strong>_**Going to ballet lessons hmu lol ~hacked.**_

**24 People Like This.**

* * *

><p><strong>Sheeva: <strong>_**I DONT REALLY HAVE FOUR ARMS THEY ARE ACTUALLY PROSTHETIC AND I AM FAKE...ALSO I'M A MAN TOO. ~hacked**_

**12 People Like This.**

**Comments:  
><strong>**Sonya Blade: **_**haha Sheeva mah nigga, you might wanna change your password.  
><strong>_**Darius: **_**Seems like everyone is getting hacked. Though, I'm pretty sure I believe the man part though.  
><strong>_**Sheeva: **_**FOOLS. whoever hacked my facebook will have they're skin ripped apart by all four of my REAL arms. And I'm not a man...I just have masuline traits. fuck y'all hoes.  
><strong>_

* * *

><p><strong>Skarlet: <strong>_**lol I like to trick people into thinking blood is my power but really I JUST HAVE A HEAVY ASS FLOW LOLOLOLOL ~hacked.**_

**45 People Like This.**

**Comments:  
><strong>**Jax Briggs: **_**aye, so when we was fightin' tha otha day i got yo vagina juice up on me? HELL NO.  
><strong>_**Skarlet: **_**wow you guys, whoever hacked me is soooo immature. like grow up for 5 whole seconds. k. wow. and that wasnt my period jackface, and I'm pretty sure I heard about you sucking a magical dick until cum flew everywhere okay. wow. SKEWLD BITCH.  
><strong>_**Jax Briggs: **_**THAT WASNT MY FAULT I WAS UNDER A GAY SPELL.**_

* * *

><p><strong>Group Message: Sonya Blade added Kabal, Jax Briggs, Stryker.<strong>

**Sonya Blade: **_**You guys, something is seriously weird with this hacking stuff.**_

**Kabal: **_**I mean...not really. its probably just Shang Tsung and Shao Kahn up to their normal antics.**_

**Jax Briggs:**_** nah dawg, I dont think thats it tho. why would he hack Mileena? **_

**Sonya Blade: **_**exactly. and sindel didnt act in on it, so...**_

**Jax Briggs: **_**lets pack up. tomorrow we're going on a little adventure to find out who this nigga is.**_

**Kabal: **_**Um guys, I don't think a facebook hacker is a threat. I mean, he's posting pretty immature stuff anyways, you know? I doubt its serious.**_

**Sonya Blade: **_**No. we're doing it. this hacking could cause major kombat drama. and do you know what happens when there is kombat drama? KOMBAT. **_

**Kabal: **_**kk fine. but, Stryker, what do you think?**_

**...**

**Sonya Blade: **_**um he's in this convo but no responding...whats up with that? he's been seriously absent lately.**_

**Jax Briggs: **_**he's probably just stroking his gun, LOL GET IT COP JOKE. anyways, you guys go get ready for tomorrow.**_

_****_AN: hey guys! just letting you guys know if you haven't figured it out, next chapter is going to be an adventure type chapter like The Group I & II, and The Kombat Is Alive chapters. EXCEPT, its going to much shorter than those and only one part. The Group is going to find out who this hacker is and stop them before they cause anymore issues!

As always, PLEASEPLEASEPLEASE review! and also, taking requests!


	17. Chapter 17: The Diary!

Authors Note: Hey guys! So, I know this was supposed to focus on the evil facebook hackers, but, I've recently found someone to collab with, and that's the chapter we're collabing on! we have the story/ideas ready, we just cant find a good time to write it, but it'll definitely be next chapter! Anyways, hope you enjoyed this chapter! also, pleasepleaseplease if you love me, go check out my Temple Run story. I'm really excited about developing it, and taking the story to crazy places! So, please go check that out!

**Message between Sektor and Kitana:**

**Kitana: **_**heeeey, seksy! lol, get it. cause its spelled liked your name. too clever. ANYWAYS. I'm bored bitch, lets hang.**_

**Sektor: **_**We couuuld hang, or we can read Scorpions online diary I found by hacking into his computer!**_

**Kitana: **_**ohhhh even better. copy and paste it here!**_

* * *

><p><strong>A Day In The Life of Me<strong>

**by Scorpion xoxo hehe :) **

**Day 1: **_**I think everyone hates me. Do you ever feel that way? Its just like, omg I wanna do things a normal fire breathing Outworld beast does! Like learn to ride a bike, braid my hair, massacre a village in under 5 minutes. Like..is that too much to ask? Golly gee, sometimes I just feel like such a burden! hehe**_

**Day 2: **_**Omg so today I took a surprise trip to the store because O M G, I had serious cravezzz for some mint chocolate ice cream & I met this super cute boy working there...oh diary, I'm sitting here smiling and twirling my bone marrow just thinking about him awww. cuteness. anyways so I was like "Hey...where is yalls mint choc. ice cream" ya know? and he was like "AHHHH DEMON" and then beat himself to death with a raw ham from the deli...no boys ever done that for me before! So like then I asked my daddy what I should do, and he was like "..." which made a lot of sense, ahhh. I love my daddy. dead or not, he always has time for me, just like you diary. hehe.**_

**Day 3: **_**OH MY GOD. my dad is sooooo unfair. so like I was about to go out, and he was like "..." and I was like "OH MY GOD DAD YOU JERK" and then I ran up to my room. it's not what he said that really bothered me, its just the way he said it, you know? ugh. fml.**_

**Day 4:**_** omg today at school, Sub Zero and his little friend Frost came up to me today and was like "where'd you get your outfit? the pit?" and I was like "no, where'd you get yours? GOROS LAIR" and then they were like "whatevz" and I was like "fine" ugh...some people are just so hurtful you know?**_

**Day 5: **_**ok omg so I got called to the principals office. I think it may be because yesterday during 5th period, I was twerking for this TOTAL perv Baraka because he had the notes and I reaaaally needed those notes. so, as I was twerkin' dat ass for him, my bony leg flew off and hit Miss Sindel in the head...so, I think thats what it is. But lucky for me, Principal Kahn wasnt in there today so, guess I'll just have to go tomorrow!**_

**Day 6: **_**I. WAS. VIOLATED. okay so principals office today...welllll, I got down there and Principal Kahn was like, have a seat. so I was like OKAY. then he was all "I understand you were popping your pussy for a student in exchange for your notes, and during this pussy popping whore session, your bony ass leg hit my wife. BUT, I'm okay with that. I actually called you in here for a...proposition. You see, my wife doesn't put out anymore, and talk around the school is that you have the best skull in school...so, if you dont wanna be expelled you'll...do what I want. GET IT LOL" OH MY GOD. so nasty. but I did it. I sucked his dick. My skull came off a couple of times but that didnt stop him! ugh...I'M SO ALONE.**_

**Day 7: **_**I did it again today...but, I actually kinda liked it. I think he loves me. I mean, he doesnt say it because Miss Sindel keeps it complicated, but still. I can see it in his tweaked nipples.**_

**Day 8: **_**OKAY GUYS, I'm running away. I'm leaving you behind because where ever I go, I get a fresh start! omg Principal Kahn told me that I was just there to "chicken head" him and that it didn't mean ANYTHING. so, I said "GET OVER HERE YOU BIG JERK" and shot my arrow right through his stupid head! now I'm like...wanted for killing the principal...sigh, but at least I'm wanted. anyways, BYE.**_

* * *

><p><strong>Kitana: <strong>_**Um...okay...I have to go.**_

**Sektor: **_**yeah, I uh...okay bye.**_

Authors Note: woah...hope you guys liked that shit. let me know if you guys wanna see another chapter of Scorpions diary, because I could possibly start doing them every so often! but anyways, please read and review this, as always I'm taking requests.

please read and review my new Temple Run story! & also, check out the guy I'm collabing on the next chapter with, Fusion-Corsair!


	18. The End, Part I!

**Group Message: Jax Briggs added: Sonya Blade, Stryker, Kabal.**

**Jax: _Hey guys, not sure if y'all have tried to message me but I couldn't get into my account? _**

**Sonya: _I couldn't either..I think somebody changed our passwords.._**

**Kabal: _I guess this hacker shit IS getting serious...time to assemble! _**

**Sonya: _we seriously need a new catch phrase for that, that one sounds so...familiar._**

**Jax: _I think something more intimidating would be better. Something simple yet loud. Like, "MORTAL KOMBAT". Stryker, what do you think?_**

**Sonya:**_**Stryker...hello? God damnit. What is up with him? Oh well, Stryker, meet us at our usual spot.**_

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><p>"Okay, we all here?" Sonya asks, looking around the room.<p>

"Woah, that was fast..it's like there's no indication of much time has passed between the messages and us all being in the same room right now!" Kabal points out.

Sonya Blade answers, "Yeah, but plot holes and continuity don't really matter in stories like this!"

The Group nods in agreement.

"Hey! Stryker isn't here!" Kabal blurts.

"Maybe we made him mad with all those cop jokes...I mean, the one about the holes in the donuts _was _a bit too much..." Jax says.

Sonya shrugs, "Oh well, we'll go without him. Also, before anyone asks 'How will we know where to start, we have zero information blah blah..' again, continuity doesn't matter in shit like this!"

"True," Jax adds, "Plus I'm sure when we walk out the door we'll just be magically where we need to be!"

The Group stocks up on weaponry, and heads out the door. As they all exit, they notice themselves in Shao Kahn's throne room, appearing there almost magically. "Told you!" Jax giggles. Standing in front of them was Mileena.

"Where did you guys come from? It's literally like you guys just magically appeared here." Mileena asks, confused.

"That's not how this works bitch!" Sonya shouts aggresively, "we ask YOU questions!" she lunges at Mileena, tackling her to the ground.

Kabal and Jax look at each other.

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><p><strong>Jax Briggs: <strong>_**LMS if you think being overly aggresive is WRONG && you should solve problems with words!**_

_**No One Likes This**_

**Comments:**

**Sub-Zero: **_**Did you really expect anyone that YOU know to like this status? I mean REALLY...**_

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><p>"Why are you hacking all of our facebook pages?" Sonya screams, raising her fist to Mileena.<p>

Mileena flinces, struggling to get out for under Sonya. "God bitch you're heavy! Just because you're married to Johnny Birdcage doesn't mean you should let yourself go!"

Sonya punches Mileena. "Tell me!"

"Okay, okay!" Mileena gives up, "I only hacked Strykers account...well, I didn't really hack it so much as I went to his house, killed him, and the got on his facebook that was already open on the computer."

"You killed Stryker?!" Kabal shouts angrily.

"Yes! For no real reason either. I just wanted to see what you guys talk about!" Mileena giggles, remiscing on the super cute memories of snapping Stryker's neck.

"What about the other hacked accounts? And all the new facebook updates that I think we can ALL agree are super lame!" Sonya says.

Everyone nods.

"It's not me. It's not daddy. It's the one who started it all..." Mileena answers. Gulping in fear of just saying his name.

"...God?" Kabal asks.

"No you fool! I think she means...Zuckerberg!" Sonya says in horror. A loud "**Dun, Dun, DUUUUN**" score plays in the background.

"He's planning on brainwashing us with all of the new updates so we will be his willing slaves. Then, he's going to destroy facebook!" Mileena shutters in horror. The thought of not being able to upload selfies somewhere on a regular basis is too much for her to handle.

"We have to kill Zuckerberg!" Sonya states, getting off of Mileena. "You're going to help us too, Mileena. We're going to need all the help we can get. We need to gather up ALL of the kombatants. Well, all of the relevant ones anyways. We don't need a bunch of useless chicken heads like we all got in Armaggedon."

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><p><strong>Sonya Blade: <strong>_**LMS if you wanna kill a multibillionaire or somethin'.**_

**50 People Like This**

* * *

><p><em>Later that day...in Facebook HQ<em>

"Okay...Mileena, are you in?" Sonya asks through the walkie-talkie.

Mileena puts the walkie-talkie to her mouth, trying to stay quiet as she hides under a desk in the Facebook Headquarters. "Yes bitch, I am."

Sonya replies into the walkie talkie from outside the office, "Okay I'm coming in. I'm going to tell the lady at the front desk I have meeting with Zuckerberg so she'll let me into his office."

Sonya wore a fitted blazer with nothing underneath, and a tight, short skirt. Her was in a bun. She clears her throat, and walks through the front doors. She approaches the woman at the front desk, who was very pale and emotionless.

"Hi," Sonya smiles, "I'm Bill Gates, the inventor of Instatwitter or whatever and I have a meeting today with Mark Zuckerberg!"

The secretary stares blankly at Sonya.

"Um, hello...? Wait...you have blood dripping out of your mouth...wait a second, are you dead?! Son of a.." Sonya grunts. She lifts the walkie talkie up to her mouth, "MILEENA! You dumb sexually confused bimbo, why the fuck did you kill the secretary. When I told you to sneak in I meant SNEAK."

Mileena giggles on the other line, she talks into her walkie talkie, "Hehe, why ask why? I mean, why did I kill Stryker? Why does nobody seem to care? Why, why, why.."

Sonya rolls her eyes. "Stay hidden where you are, I'm coming up."

Mileena pouts, "Ugh I wanna do so-" the line goes dead.

Sonya stares at the walkie talkie, "Um, Mileena?"

A mans voice comes onto Mileena's line, "This is Mark fuckin' Zuckerberg. I have your very underdressed friend here and I'm not afraid to kill her. I've been needing to get a good kill in; I have a lot of built up anger you know? Especially after that god awful 'Social Network' movie." the line goes to static.

Sonya throws her walkie talkie to the ground, "Fuck." she makes her way to the elevator and pushes the button marked "Zuckerberg's office bitch".

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><p><strong>Sonya Blade: <strong>_**Ugh I hate elevator music. I think it stems back to early childhood when my mom used to lock me in elevators at the health clinic so she could flirt with the greasy receptionist. **_

_**10 People Like This**_

**Comments:**

**Kathy SluttyArmyWife Blade: **_**Your father was away a lot, plus, I didn't want you around me bc I didn't want to look bad, having a kid and all!**_  
><strong>Sonya Blade: <strong>_**You were flirting with pimply receptionists at an STD center but you were worried a kid would make you look bad?**_

**Kathy SluttyArmyWife Blade: **_**yolo**_

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><p>The elevator doors open and Sonya steps out. Her eyes go wide.<p>

Zuckerberg had Mileena bent over the desk as he was pounding her harder Sylvester Stallone did to Antonio Tarver in Rocky Balboa. Mileena was moaning wildly.

"God damnit Mileena!" Sonya shouts.

As Zuckerberg was about to climax, he whispers, "Take off your veil baby."

Mileena giggles, "Okay!" she seductively removes her mask only to reveal her Takartan mouth.

Zuckerberg screams a blood curdling scream, "WHAT THE FUCK! EW EW EW!"

He pulls out, and puts his massive throbbing erection back in his pants.

Mileena burts into tears, "IF YOU DON'T LOVE ME AT MY ALIEN YOU DON'T DESERVE ME AT MY SIGOURNEY WEAVER!" She runs out of the room. Sonya rolls her eyes.

"Look Zuckerberg, whatever you're plotting, consider it stopped!" Sonya shouts before shooting him in the face with her laser blaster. His head explodes and blood flies everywhere.

Sonya smirks, smug that it's all over.

"Stupid bitch, you think it's that easy?" A loud voice comes from behind her. She turns around to see...

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><p>AN: Hey guys, it's been awhile. I don't have time to update anymore unfortunately, so I'm going to bring this story to an end! Part II coming out tomorrow. Thank you all for the great reviews for all the previous chapters! Yall are the best. Reviews are appreciated! Maybe someday I'll start a new MK FB story!<p> 


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